What a Writer's Children Learn

By Amy Brozio-Andrews My grandma had one of those kitschy little framed plaques at her house when I was a kid, one of the really seventies ones with the big-headed kids and Day-Glo colors. It was a reprint of Dorothy Law Nolte's "Children Learn What They Live," and it offered that kids' behavior is a reflection of the attitudes they are exposed to. I was reminded of it recently when I witnessed some appalling behavior from an adult in front of his child in public. Then of course, I started thinking about what my kids might be learning as the children of a writer. If Nolte's right (and I suspect she is), then boy, are my kids going to be in trouble… Multi-tasking is good in theory, but will sometimes backfire. Spectacularly. I had to take my daughter to the pediatrician. Under the gun to finish a book review, I packed the novel in the diaper bag, and managed to read a bit in the waiting room. When we were leaving, I ran out of hands, and placed the book on the roof of the car while I buckled the baby into her car seat. I tossed the diaper bag on the back seat, slammed the car door, and was already on the highway when I heard a thud. (You can see where this is going, can't you?) Glancing at the rearview mirror, I saw the pages flirt with the wind, then crash to pavement and skid to the shoulder. If it wasn't a three-lane highway, I might have been tempted to turn around try to retrieve it. Thank goodness for Amazon. I may be annoyed with myself for having paid as much to ship the book as buy the book, but I'm glad to say I was able to turn in my review on time, and no one was any the wiser. Make do with what you've got (see also: Be prepared). If you look in my bathroom, you'll see my kids' cute soap crayon drawings of flowers, smiley faces, kitties, and rainbows. Look a little bit higher and you'll see scribbled notes scrawled across the tile: ask about first sale; pub and mktg; influences? As any writer knows, you've got to get the stuff written down while you're thinking of it, and if that means commandeering the kids' soap crayons to write notes to myself while in the shower, well, so be it. (What'll I do when the kids are grown and I have no "real" reason to have soap crayons strewn about the bathroom anymore?) Although I do admit I must look funny sitting on the edge of the tub, fully-dressed, laptop perched on my knees, trying to read my own drippy notes after a shower. One person's trash is another's treasure. Actually, that's more like, one mom's laptop, the sign of a looming deadline, is a child's nightlight, when she's sick and wants to sleep close to Mommy, who's sitting in bed finishing an article. Checking the post office box is like a box of chocolates… Like most things, going to check the post office box is a family affair. My daughter wants to do it all by herself (save for the fact that she has to get picked up to reach the lock). Usually it's bills, the occasional check, and sometimes it's the golden ticket-- that little yellow slip that lets us know there's a package that didn't fit in the box. While I groan at the bills, smile at the checks, and groan or smile depending on my existing workload at the yellow slips, it's all good to my daughter. She pulls mail out of the box with as much glee as she does the tissue paper from Christmas gifts. Maybe this learning thing works in reverse, too? Always use proper grammar. When my two-year-old came waltzing around the corner at a family get-together, having stripped herself completely naked, she proudly announced with a smile, "I don't have no clothes on!" And guess what the first words out of my mouth were? Yep, you guessed it. "Sweetheart, it's 'I don't have any clothes on.'" And in conclusion, perhaps the most important lesson of all: Little bitty bits of paper don't belong in a CD drive. Ever. That one seems pretty self-explanatory, no? Amy Brozio-Andrews is a freelance writer and book reviewer. She brings more than five years' experience as a readers' advisory librarian to her work, which is regularly published by Library Journal, The Imperfect Parent, and Absolute Write. Her reviews have also been published by The Absinthe Literary Review, ForeWord Magazine, January Magazine, and Melt Magazine. Amy is also the managing editor and an international markets columnist for Absolute Write. Visit her online at http://www.amyba.com.